Category: Managing your mental health

1. What is perfectionism and is it a problem?

   Posted on 6:00am Thursday 4th May 2023

   Perfectionism is the determined pursuit of self-imposed high standards. It’s not always about being “perfect” as such but more about pushing yourself hard to meet and excessively high, targets which are usually self-imposed. Many people see perfectionist traits as positive or even necessary for success and there are times when perfectionist traits can be viewed as highly motivating.  However, perfectionism can take also take a negative turn if the pursuit of such standards is negatively impacting wellbeing; achieving these high standards no longer brings that feeling of achievement or satisfaction; you’re judging your whole self-worth on your ability to work towards and achieve these standards and perhaps even have the fear that others may not accept you if you’re not achieving them. As a result this can lead to depression and low self-esteem. Very often people can be perfectionists in one area of their lives but not others, perhaps academic perfectionism with a need to score certain exam grades. We often overlook perfectionism when we think about our mental health however, we’re increasingly realising that perfectionism can cause and maintain other mental health problems. 

   Remember perfectionists don’t necessarily exhibit perfectionist attitudes in all aspects of their life, it may be confined to one or two areas. Examples of places people may experience perfectionist mindsets include: 

   • Academic environments such as school or university - Perhaps you’re always striving for top grades, excessively comparing yourself to others and wanting to be top of the class. 

   • Sports – Striving to always be the best or setting yourself increasingly more challenging or even unattainable targets and failing to recognise or value existing achievements. 

   • Speaking – Examples may include being overly hard on yourself for saying “um” in a speech too many times. 

   • Physical appearance - Excessively worrying about personal grooming or style, taking hours choosing what to wear or how to style hair. 

   • Housework and house presentation - The desire for a home to always appear a certain way “like a show home” and struggling to cope when the home does not meet these standards. Perfectionist beliefs can always be relevant here too such as “I’m the only person who can do the washing properly”. 

   • Relationships – Having impossibly high standards of relationships or perhaps difficulty being vulnerable. This can often result in relationships breaking down due to impossibly high standards. 

   • Excessive organisation in the pursuit of a perfect result. 

   Key attributes of perfectionists 

   Perfectionists may have one or many of the following: 

   • Setting self-imposedhigh standards 

   • Highly critical of themself and feeling that accomplishments are never quite good enough, obsessing on the minor imperfection in an overall successful outcome 

   • Procrastination (despite wanting to excel the pressure to succeed often leads perfectionists to put things off for fear of being unable to meet self-imposed standards. 

   • Avoiding situations that may test performance when not “ready” 

   • Feeling that 100% effort is essential, less than this will result in failure  

   • Believing self-worth is based on achievements 

   Perfectionist behaviour can result in negative implications for mental health including: anxiety, depression, exhaustion, muscle tension, insomnia, difficulty relaxing and digestive issues. 

   Does any of this ring a bell for you? If you’re thinking that this may sound like you then fortunately, you can seek support through therapy. This can help you recognise and understand your perfectionism as well as develop coping strategies to reduce perfectionist behaviours and re-evaluate perfectionist behaviours. 

    

2. Are you struggling with anxiety?

   Posted on 8:00am Tuesday 2nd May 2023

   Anxiety can affect people of all ages and backgrounds. It can be both difficult to recognize and even more challenging to manage.
   

   What is anxiety? 

   Anxiety is a natural response that our body has when it perceives a threat or danger. It's a feeling of unease, worry, or fear. Anxiety is a completely normal human emotion and so level of anxiety is useful to keep us safe. However, there are times when our anxiety amplifies beyond a normal, useful level. It can manifest in overthinking or negative thinking which can be mentally exhausting and have a negative impact on our mental health and general wellbeing. When anxiety becomes persistent, it can affect our daily life, relationships, and work. We may start avoiding certain situations or people that trigger anxiety which can limit our experiences and opportunities. This is where therapy can be helpful. A therapist can help us understand the root of our anxiety, develop coping mechanisms, and learn skills to manage it. 

   What are the symptoms of anxiety? 

   Some common physical symptoms of anxiety include trembling or shaking, rapid heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and shortness of breath. Other physical symptoms may include headaches, fatigue, and muscle tension. These symptoms can significantly impact on your overall wellbeing and quality of life. 

   Cognitive symptoms of anxiety are also common and can include excessive worrying, negative thinking, and a feeling of dread or impending doom. Anxiety can also cause difficulty concentrating, irritability, and restlessness. These cognitive symptoms can lead to a vicious cycle of worrying about worrying, which can worsen anxiety and further affect your mental health. 

   It is important to recognize the symptoms of anxiety so that they can be addressed appropriately. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to treating anxiety, therapy can be helpful in identifying triggers and developing strategies for managing symptoms.  

   Anxiety and our nervous system 

   By learning how our nervous system functions and developing healthy habits to manage anxiety, we can improve our overall wellbeing and quality of life. Let’s think of our nervous system like a car with just two peddles, the accelerator and the pedal. Our accelerator is our sympathetic nervous system and our brake is our parasympathetic nervous system. When we perceive a threat or stressor, our brain activates our sympathetic nervous system, which triggers our body's "fight or flight" response, it’s a bit like putting our foot down on the accelerator of a car ready to run. This response “revs up your engine” releases stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, that increase our heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate to prepare us to confront or flee from the threat. While this response is helpful in certain situations, it can become problematic when it is constantly activated. Just imagine if you spend the whole time driving your car with that accelerator pedal pressed right down to the floor, it wouldn’t be healthy for yourcar right? It’s the same for us, if we’re always in a highly anxious state, in that fight or flight state with our sympathetic nervous system switched on we’re going to feel exhausted and burnt out. In contrast, we need to be able to come off the accelerator and activate our parasympathetic nervous system, that’s the brake pedal of your car or the “rest and digest” system in your body. This can promote feelings of calmness and relaxation. Talking therapy, hypnotherapy, meditation, and other relaxation techniques can help regulate our nervous system and therefore reduce anxiety as you learn how to switch on the “rest and digest” side of your nervous system for your body and mind to rest and recover.